Member-only story
“Don’t do like this!”. My daughter wanted some cheese before dinner. Read how I resolved instead.
Your child is not an adult. You must stop thinking like this👇🏻
Yesterday, I came back after a week outside the house. My family was in quarantine, and I was forced to stay outside to work. I imagined coming back home while my eldest daughter ran into me, arms open. Instead, she was being witty.
After a bit, she told me: “Dad, I want cheese!”
The dinner was almost ready. We didn’t want her to skip the meal.
My answer was: “No, you can’t have it”. Then, after asking twice more, she started to cry, hiding under the table. At that moment, I thought about how this was disturbing me: “She must stop this tantrum”. You can imagine what could be the continuation.
Instead, I decided to be gentle.
Here is what to do instead of arguing:
❌ Don’t tell her not to cry
✅ I squatted down, legs crossed and showed her a safe place to feel accepted. It was a weird sensation to let space for a tantrum.
Eventually, she came and snuggled up to me, crying out loud.
👁 Observe her and show a different focus
I began to sing a repeated melody, using small creativity. I sang about a sweet girl, sitting on her father’s knee, asking for some more. Slowly, she turned down the…