“Dad, you don’t listen to me!” says your child. And it is true! Here are 3 mistakes you shouldn’t make with your preschooler.

As the father of a 3-year-old girl, I realize that many relationship problems arise because I treat her as an adult.

Our good intentions are hindered because we can’t properly listen to them.

On the other hand, we don’t even know how to listen to adults!

When others speak, we don’t listen to understand for real.

Rather, we hear what others are saying and evaluate it with our opinion, ready to respond based on judgments and interpretations.

Imagine what happens if we try to measure the reality of children with the eyes of a grown-up.

Listening means deliberately understanding the meaning of the words spoken by another person.

That is why your children say you are not listening even if you do not think so.

❌ You are absent. You are next, but your mind is elsewhere.

“Speak, I listen to you.” Have you gone to your boss’s office, who’s looking at the computer while saying this phrase?

✅ Put down the phone.

✅ Be silent. Adopt body language that leaves space. Children are good observers and see when you are ready to argue.

❌ You judge their point of view.

We are full of bias, and our brain tricks us into not realizing it. Indeed, it judges and compares every information we receive according to our mindset. Even these words you are reading.

✅ Suspend judgment.

✅ Put yourself in their shoes. Empathize what they are feeling.

❌ You think about how they should behave according to you.

After having grasped only a part of the information, having filtered it with your judgment, you are ready to tell how they should behave. How could you think they felt understood?

✅ The focus is on others. You have to put yourself on their wavelength to get them to listen to you.

✅ Listen well to understand before speaking. Also, observe the non-verbal language.

This post was created with Typeshare